The most important relationship in your life
… is the one you have with yourself.
It is the relationship that colors everything else in your life.
As a Woman in this world, you are uniquely gifted. Do you truly know at a deep level that you are more than how you look, what you weigh, what you think and what you do?
You are more than the roles you play and the energy you experience. The essence of you extends way beyond your 5 senses. However, what you feel and think about yourself colors all your adventures or misfortunes…could not be otherwise. You have gifts and energy that you and only you can bring to the world. If you don’t truly value yourself at this moment, make a commitment to learn how to truly love and value all that you are. Let it begin with you right here, right now, starting today…no waiting until…
In my own life, I have had to change faulty beliefs of looking for love “out there” without first loving myself. I had to understand that all the dreams in my life rested on the simple but hard to fathom truth that love in my life had to start with me. I had to open to “love of self” and acceptance of what I am right now, not my ideal self but what is true for me right now. The conclusion is simple and profound: Love is the most important of all of life’s experiences … Love is the source of joy, happiness, health, and a fulfilled life.
At the deepest level …what are your fears?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world.Marianne Williamson
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
The life you are living.
Do you find that you are preoccupied with what you consider your deficits, too much, too little, feeling deprived and using up much of your life energy in self-reproach, and self-judgement? To the extent that you are ignoring the rich tapestry of life’s activities all around you, you are experiencing limitations restricted by a narrow frame and living by the faulty beliefs that others downloaded in you.
Nobody sets out to live a life of limitations and struggle, staying safe to the point of dullness. We may dream of a different kind of life; however, when it comes to crossing the threshold, we hesitate or do not find the courage to risk change. I am beckoning you to step up and be counted. Risk something different, break some rules that aren’t even yours.
I’ve been there many times, in the dark, on the ledges of life’s important junctures, clinging to the old. Fraught with fear, when change was absolutely necessary to have a fuller, more purposeful life. I move into change like the turtle: slowly and tenuously forward reaching for the next foothold. The image that comes to mind is the uncertainty of rock-climbing.
So back and forth I go in a soup of anxiety and fear, working hard not to be overwhelmed with powerlessness. The excruciating fear of not knowing what the future holds.
Surrender is tough for us all to embrace. What I know for sure is that once leaving the ledge to risk jumping into a new pattern or path opening, it is as if I am able to gather all my disparate parts and feel more whole. The action helps the fear to become less debilitating. Yes, there is fear. Yes, I’d rather stay put. I know however to have more of the life I want, it is necessary to jump off the ledge again and again. It is not a pretty sight, me going through change but I want you to see the process…the back-and-forth conflict and encourage you to be compassionate with yourself because change is unlikely to be smooth.
You are not alone. Don’t judge. We have a myriad of fears when we face changing old patterns into something new and the unknown. I hope you see by now it doesn’t really matter where you start as long as you start.
What beliefs/thoughts sabotage your Happiness?
Our life and struggles are true mirrors of what we believe and think about our situation right now. Dr. Joseph Murphy a well-known Spiritual Teacher said, “we don’t attract what we want, we attract what we are.” The dominant thoughts, beliefs, feelings that we have right now are what determine our future, its outcomes, and experiences. We are creating this outcome now.
What I know for sure is that the life that you are presently experiencing is a mirror for what you believe about yourself at a deep level. Nothing can change until you know what is stopping you and how to heal inside.
It wasn’t your fault if you experienced less love than you deserved, absorbed faulty beliefs that you accepted as your true story early in life. We take in convoluted beliefs, and we can’t even question their validity. We are too young.
Let’s find out what you are hiding, pushing down, how to unpack it, and how to release and be free.
From this day forward the choices you make can set you free.
Next time we will dive into ways we betray ourselves and our efforts, sometimes consciously and at other times unconsciously. I share with you some steps in making the unconscious, conscious in order to change. You will see the process I used to become aware, to contemplate, to get clear and then take action.
Look forward to connecting …further down the road.