The mind is often merciless especially when it feels threatened by being alone and lonely. Have you ever tried to step out of a knowingly dysfunctional relationship to hear your ego chatter on about the reasons you should stay. At least I have somebody to go out to dinner with on Friday or Saturday night. I could call him if I need him. Could you really? Anytime?
Questions Provide Space For Dreams To Take Flight
Self Help Articles
I am often amazed that a woman who has been beaten will not or cannot leave the batterer. Leaving would be the most instinctual and self protective thing to do. In my clinical practice I’ve heard women make excuses for the batterer and talk about the times when it is really good between them. Usually such times are referred to as the making up, honeymoon period. From where I sit, this is a lull that lasts roughly six weeks between episodes. When the beating stops there is overwhelming relief, and often a powerful high. He is attentive, contrite and “very very good”. He has the power to deliver the lowest lows of his “not self” (just not like him) contrasting with the highest highs
Since change is the only constant in our lives, why is it so frightening to choose to change? Often it is thrust upon us and we didn’t see it coming. It may come in a way that cuts us off at the knees, such as having life, as we know it obliterated, like a tornado or hurricane. Somehow when such happens, time and time again we observe people having the courage and determination to reach down into their reservoir of resilience to deal with catastrophe. Where did all their courage, fearlessness, faith, determination come from, we ask ourselves. How were they able to do it? For most of us it takes a crisis, a howling hurt, to send us into that deep well of greater capacity.
Passion is not a quality that some people are born with but not others. To be passionate is as natural as breathing, as being alive, the source of who you are. And Yet...when was the last time you let that part of you out to play. Watch a child play and you see passion in action. They know the secret of living each moment with attention and wonder. As adults we tend to experience a guarded participation in our feelings that leaves us lukewarm toward much of our world. If you have turned into a bored and passionless grown up, it may be time to let the child your once were be your teacher.
You must do the things you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Do you want to be 87 on your death bed saying I wish I had risked more back then - it would have made a difference in the quality of my life. Many times when we have a dream, a vision, we don’t know where to start to realize it, we are over-whelmed by the magnitude and the grandeur of it and feel really stuck. However, most of the time when we feel blocked in an area of our life, it is because we feel safer that way. We may not be happy, but at least we know what we are - unhappy - it is familiar and we become paralyzed by any of movement into the unknown.
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Rainer Maria Rilke
In “The Road Less Travelled”, Scott Peck says the God of our youth is a second hand one. Just like family recipes, passed down and nobody questions the validity of the ingredients, we do not change them to breathe new flavor into the food. Same with God. Peck adds it is imperative we search and create an up close and personal relationship with God that evolves with us throughout our lives. If we are to grow into wise adults, it is necessary for our idea of God to grow with us.
“There is more to life than increasing its speed” (Gandhi & Desai, 1957)
Life can be likened to a deep forest and on occasion we get lost in creating our path through it. If we are determined to find our way, it is necessary to face the fears and doubts that are always lurking, keeping us stuck when we do not face them. We cannot wait until the day arrives when there is an absence of fears and doubts, as it does not happen. If the forest is a metaphor for life, why do so many of us stay close to the entry not venturing in?