When we fall in love, feelings of aloneness are left behind and we merge together as if two pieces of a puzzle are moving securely into a place of belonging. The state of oneness or merging draws us out of our protective shells, and for most of us our fears of opening our hearts. Conditioning around certain rules,’shoulds and ‘oughts’ are momentarily set aside. When we set aside old beliefs, we are less judgmental, less critical and more inclusive of differences.
Look at your life, is it time to release some of the old players who no longer fit who you are or are becoming?
What is your story around relationships? Do you see a pattern in the relationships, like certain kinds of people that you continue to attract?? Have you ever thought this person seems different, so why am I feeling the same? Different person, same pattern,: same story!
Every New Year you get another opportunity to take a risk of knowing how incredible you truly are. I say risk because once you allow yourself to align with the fact that ‘you are enough’: what are you going to do with that truth. It is a responsibility is it not? But I digress.
How to get More of what You Really want in Intimate Relationships:
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have had a front row seat, to observe the many ways women sabotage themselves when it comes to having more of what they want/need in intimate relationships.
The mind is often merciless especially when it feels threatened by being alone and lonely. Have you ever tried to step out of a knowingly dysfunctional relationship to hear your ego chatter on about the reasons you should stay. At least I have somebody to go out to dinner with on Friday or Saturday night. I could call him if I need him. Could you really? Anytime?
I am often amazed that a woman who has been beaten will not or cannot leave the batterer. Leaving would be the most instinctual and self protective thing to do. In my clinical practice I’ve heard women make excuses for the batterer and talk about the times when it is really good between them. Usually such times are referred to as the making up, honeymoon period. From where I sit, this is a lull that lasts roughly six weeks between episodes. When the beating stops there is overwhelming relief, and often a powerful high. He is attentive, contrite and “very very good”. He has the power