Stop trying to fit in !
Do you struggle with trying to fit in? If you fit in do you know that to some degree fitting in holds you back? Why is that ?
Successful women do not assume or believe that they must fit in and adhere to the prevailing currents in order to follow dreams of abundance.. They know that staying comfortable to have what seems to be a more secure life will tamper down their desires and passion. Even if painful, they forgo the illusion of safety, knowing at a deep level it is just that, an illusion; like a Currier and Ives Christmas card. There is no life in it. It is static, an image frozen in time.
Women, who are successful in their own eyes, sharing with others what they do well, do not have time for the nonsense of trying to get everybody on board and in agreement with their plans and dreams.
May the Angel of Wildness disturb the places
where your life is domesticated and safe,
take you to territories of true otherness. (John O’Donahue)
When the family will not or cannot be supportive: let go of expectations!
Often those we want to support us may not be able to do so. Why? Because they are afraid. Often when we start moving towards our dreams it causes our loved ones great anxiety. Of course there are many reasons, outside the scope of this work, however frequently, reasons include a feeling of inadequacy about their own unfulfilled yearnings, or a fear that you may not need, love or accept them as before, if you move outside the “tribal” ways.
An old tale: “Procrustes Bed” tells of an inn keeper who lopped off travelers’ feet if they were too long for his beds, however if the traveler was too short, he stretched them on a rack until they fit.
Does any part of your life remind you of Procrustes Bed?
Where or when do you pretzel yourself to fit someone else’s expectations, or second hand rules, regardless if it is for your greater good.
Women who know they are worthy of manifesting their own lives to fit their dreams, do not allow fitting somebody else’s bed to sap their creative energy, or personal power.
They are strong enough to betray others to be faithful to themselves.
What does fitting in look like?
To fit in, we are expected to be more like those around us. Initially our sense of identity is formed by merging with the feelings, beliefs, and behaviors of those around us. Because we are helpless in our beginnings, we had to fit in because we needed what others provided to survive. Our original helplessness made it absolutely necessary to develop a structure to lean on
Problems arise, when we are old enough to question, to explore, to express in order to start our journey, and we opt to stay safe, and asleep. Often we are fearful and deny the prompting.
I’ve had clients create a visual of what their lives were like as they tried to fit in and keep the peace. They have described being bored with the everyday sameness of their lives. Boredom is frequently accompanied by a low grade depression, and a loss of pleasure in usual pleasurable activities.
Those who settle for fitting in cling to the familiar, rather than examine the true nature of reality. The more somebody tries to control events the more rigid and the smaller that person’s world becomes. So where do we start to give up the illusions?
Women who have the courage and assertiveness to know that what the family believes is best for them, may not be. They have to step by step find out for themselves. They do not necessarily desert their family but they move into freedom and courage to create the life they want their way, mistakes and all. There are many ways to wake up. First we have to accept that life is a process and we learn as we go that there is no time when things will be just right to change, as when we lose that last ten pounds, or retire. Whose life works that smoothly?
The real problem for many people who fear change is a faulty belief that if we fit in, there is a possibility of a life without pain, suffering, adversities, and all the inherent struggles. To live more authentically we have to be courageous enough to work through and release beliefs that no longer work, if they ever did. Faulty beliefs about fitting in keep us from living our own rich, messy ways.
Women who are successful in Manifesting more and in all aspects of their life know that. To read more go to http://laurabyoung.com
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